Phantom Toe

My name is Patrick Carroll, and I will be telling you about my mixed media artwork titled "Phantom Toe." It measures 19 inches tall by 12 inches wide. The image is derived from several printmaking processes on heavy paper, then mounted to a board. "Phantom Toe" shares the emotional impact of an automobile accident I suffered, which resulted in the amputation of the second toe on my left foot. The viewer first sees a line drawing of a jovial court jester on a field of yellow, before noticing more striking text and images beneath the surface. Hospital records are partially legible, with phrases like "general anesthesia" and "amputation of the second toe." Abstract shapes at the bottom of the artwork come into focus as gruesome Polaroid images of my bloody foot, taken for my medical record. The juxtaposition of the smiling jester with the horrific medical imagery reflects my emotions at the time: fear, pain, and loss, layered with extreme relief that I was losing just a toe. The bottom few inches of the board and print were laser cut into a floral motif, and the empty space is quite literally missing. Amputees often describe phantom pain emanating from the location of their lost body part. This pain is real and can be alarming. My phantom pain returns out of the clear blue from time to time. It brings me straight back to the time of my loss and to those mixed, layered emotions: elation at having survived the accident, yet mourning for the loss of a body part.